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Offline (the 10/16/2014 at 2:12pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 847
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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swordidfate's page activity

Visits<b>Camlin93</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:28pm<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:03am<b>RayStar</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 7:53am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 9:57pm<b>Miikonos</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:45pm<b>jackson_1212</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 2:19pm<b>JBrownie123</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 9:29am<b>Cocainee</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 7:22am<b>dontkilljay</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 9:33am<b>Make_Believe</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 3:27am<b>Zezifus</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 8:03am<b>Kazenoe</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 10:32am<b>jrow87</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 9:37am<b>Nightwolf32</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 8:46am<b>CptWesker25</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 7:55am<b>twiztidlette20</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 11:49pm<b>JhovannyA</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 9:09pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 8:08pm

swordidfate's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of swordidfate's badges

swordidfate's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

by Thanks everyone / 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

by mykhael / 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, a kid in class dropped his paper on the floor. I held on to my desk with one hand and reached for the paper with my other hand. I lost balance and tilted both my chair and desk over, nailing the floor as everything on my desk hit the ground with me. He picked the paper up himself. FML

by nice guys finish last / 08/20/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. I told my boyfriend and my close family, who were all ecstatic. Then he told his mother. Her reaction? "It better come out looking like him." FML

by AtomicDiamond87 / 08/19/2013 at 3:55pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

by oops / 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

by sweet23 / 08/18/2013 at 7:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I found out that my dad writes really weird and scary slash fiction involving characters from all of the CSI TV show franchises. FML

by HoratioNo / 08/14/2013 at 2:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2013 at 2:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML

by just about pissed off / 08/11/2013 at 1:24pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

by -__- / 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

by ass slap / 08/11/2013 at 11:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2013 at 12:24am / United States / Health