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swooshq

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swooshq

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9875
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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swooshq's page activity

Visits<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 10:13am<b>DavidPatton18</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:34am<b>hammet</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 7:57pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:58pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 10:13pm<b>A_Lee_Is_Betta</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 9:57pm<b>shostakovich</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 7:34pm<b>sacredpoppy</b> - the 07/22/2009 at 2:30pm<b>melikeulongtime</b> - the 07/08/2009 at 2:01pm<b>DickRice</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 5:54pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 4:40pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 6:08pm<b>bUsHwAcKeR69</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 2:23am<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 06/26/2009 at 2:30pm<b>bcr</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 1:57pm

swooshq's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

swooshq's favorite FMLs

Today, I left my brand new iPhone on the counter, and went to get its cleaning cloth. My grandmother saw a mosquito, and used my iPhone as a fly swatter. I now have a broken iPhone. Good news though: no more mosquito. FML

#4304295
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48725) - you deserved it (5168)

On 08/05/2009 at 7:04am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46778) - you deserved it (3101)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59135) - you deserved it (8773)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

#4238671
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51713) - you deserved it (2232)

On 08/02/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by amburrr (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63147) - you deserved it (5112)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62699) - you deserved it (6846)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

#4223881
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49256) - you deserved it (9387)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was working as a cashier at my job. A guy came up with a cart full of stuff and it took me 10 minutes to ring it all up. When I told him his total, he felt his pockets, said "Oh shit I forgot my wallet!" and walked away. He left about 15 bags worth of things for me to put back. FML

#4219084
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41248) - you deserved it (2875)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by drano - United States (California)

Today, I got pulled over for the first time since I got my license. I have disorganized speech and occasional inappropriate emotional response. I began to laugh due to nervousness and when I tried to explain why, I was arrested because he thought I was high. FML

#4208437
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47850) - you deserved it (4843)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:24pm - misc - by Jesse (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML

#4103761
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40385) - you deserved it (16500)

On 07/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by BigPurplePresent (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML

#4046388
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6409) - you deserved it (76609)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML

#4034101
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39988) - you deserved it (23196)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Mom (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he suddenly stopped and walked to the kitchen. He decided to bake chocolate chip cookies in the midst of our intimacy. However, he told me we could still continue while the oven preheated. FML

#4010717
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47423) - you deserved it (6708)

On 07/24/2009 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by jcooh0lla (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML

#4004887
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50665) - you deserved it (3973)

On 07/24/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by mubaki (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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