swooshq

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swooshq

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10734
  • Number of comments : 80
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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swooshq's page activity

Visits<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 10:58pm<b>AngrySc0rpi0n</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 1:39pm<b>briannaaaleighhh</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 9:28pm<b>marythecat333</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 3:22pm<b>Sludge3</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 12:51am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 10:13am<b>DavidPatton18</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:34am<b>hammet</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 7:57pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:58pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:16am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 10:13pm<b>A_Lee_Is_Betta</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 9:57pm<b>shostakovich</b> - the 08/01/2009 at 7:34pm<b>sacredpoppy</b> - the 07/22/2009 at 2:30pm<b>melikeulongtime</b> - the 07/08/2009 at 2:01pm<b>DickRice</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 5:54pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 4:40pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 6:08pm

swooshq's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

swooshq's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I met some of my boyfriend's family for the first time. His aunt said I was really cute, which made me happy. As we were leaving I said "Your aunt thought I was cute." His reply..."Yeah, well, my aunt's on drugs". FML

by me / 09/06/2009 at 5:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

by Timmah / 08/31/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

by mylifesucks / 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3AM. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

by chasingcars0624 / 08/28/2009 at 7:44pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

by staringisrude / 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML

by embarassed_chick / 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2009 at 3:09am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

by urmommmm / 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous