swimmin_diva

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swimmin_diva

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2550
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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swimmin_diva's page activity

Visits<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:09am<b>zasxdcf2</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 2:51am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:32pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 04/12/2011 at 2:45pm<b>tsezu</b> - the 11/11/2009 at 7:18am<b>Flea</b> - the 09/26/2009 at 2:19pm<b>megg07</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 10:49pm<b>Anarchitect</b> - the 03/28/2009 at 10:27am<b>sheetinmyarse</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 9:09pm<b>Chaith</b> - the 03/22/2009 at 3:19pm<b>fillmyheart028</b> - the 03/15/2009 at 12:11am<b>llSgtScopell</b> - the 03/14/2009 at 2:56pm

swimmin_diva's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

swimmin_diva's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glance over and see my brother's hot friend who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then hear my mom say "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got up extra early to curl my hair because I wanted to look nice at school for a change. After coming downstairs my mom yells at me and says, "See, when you don't wake up on time your hair looks like that. You could have atleast combed it!" FML

by Rai / 03/24/2009 at 12:11pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

by proudestmonkey / 03/24/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I was hanging out with my boyfriend. He pulled me close to him and I started to feel better, until he put my hand down his pants and around his penis and said, "Here! Try this to take your mind off it." FML

by Marian / 03/23/2009 at 3:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

by liz1234 / 03/22/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

by JohnMackSquirts / 03/19/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

by twit / 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

by Noname / 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, at the dinner table my parents were talking to my younger sister about her new boyfriend and how they should be taking it slow. My sister then pointed out that that's not what I do. My dad said, "Believe me I know- your sister's easier to get into than community college." FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 4:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text message. My phone was sitting on the edge of the bed and set on vibrate, so it fell off. I reached down to grab my phone and fell off the bed. My macbook landed on top of me. I fractured my arm and broke my laptop to read a text from facebook. FML

by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 5:06am / United States (Texas) / Geek

Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML

by 1 Giant Cupcake / 03/06/2009 at 7:09pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

by LuvShawn / 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids