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swimgood

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

swimgood

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 479
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About swimgood : Fancy meeting you here.

swimgood's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:32pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:19am<b>Dick_diamond</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 7:55pm<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:09am<b>bmba94</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:15pm<b>briang959</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 9:54pm<b>Faddyy6</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:43pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 11:41pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 12:22pm<b>ja153</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 10:28pm<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 8:40am<b>angiotensin</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 12:26am<b>Rstein14</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 7:40pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:56am<b>mikethekid</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 3:39am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 6:34pm<b>katebond</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:46am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 6:54am

Liked!<b>briang959</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 3:54am<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 3:24am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:12pm

swimgood's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of swimgood's badges

swimgood's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML

#21369637
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27616) - you deserved it (5490)

On 03/06/2015 at 11:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML

#21356609
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28952) - you deserved it (9664)

On 02/15/2015 at 11:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47170) - you deserved it (3769)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31827) - you deserved it (4743)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40348) - you deserved it (4176)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

#21335978
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (1831)

On 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm - misc - by PO'd big bro - United States (Georgia)

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

#21335701
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32988) - you deserved it (11798)

On 01/12/2015 at 11:43am - intimacy - by bowler99 - United States (New York)

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35526) - you deserved it (3149)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52432) - you deserved it (6856)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

#21136073
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42628) - you deserved it (10313)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm - work - by can't eat paper - United States

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39517) - you deserved it (6994)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML

Today, I left a message for a potential employer. It wasn't until after I'd hung up that I realized I'd given them their own phone number to call me back at. Not getting that job. FML



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