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swimgood

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swimgood

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 273
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About swimgood : Fancy meeting you here.

swimgood's page activity

Visits<b>cocogibson</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 12:24pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 3:08am<b>rozsrredd</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 3:20pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:04am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:48pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:28am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:51am<b>BrickTamlandLamp</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:04am<b>matt300</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 10:40pm<b>ECraine</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 6:50am<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:29am<b>thick_lesbo</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 12:34am<b>DarkHelmet</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 4:36pm<b>tallwhiteguy96</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 11:15am<b>mattg47</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 6:45pm<b>polishguy05</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 9:20pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 4:53pm<b>Fernando83</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 3:22am

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swimgood's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35233) - you deserved it (3131)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48180) - you deserved it (5572)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

#21136073
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42542) - you deserved it (10279)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm - work - by can't eat paper - United States

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39390) - you deserved it (6967)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML

Today, I left a message for a potential employer. It wasn't until after I'd hung up that I realized I'd given them their own phone number to call me back at. Not getting that job. FML

Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man, apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML

#21071417
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50020) - you deserved it (9958)

On 02/25/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by OverIt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML

#20983710
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58561) - you deserved it (18371)

On 12/07/2013 at 9:55am - intimacy - by feiedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

#20976643
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46255) - you deserved it (2807)

On 12/01/2013 at 2:42am - work - by JudasThePriest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

#20898243
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41343) - you deserved it (9382)

On 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by ;_;" (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55927) - you deserved it (4425)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68313) - you deserved it (9009)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68313) - you deserved it (9009)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47733) - you deserved it (3569) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version



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