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Offline (the 10/02/2016 at 6:18am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1188
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About swimgood : Fancy meeting you here.

swimgood's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 8:22pm<b>onlytimewilltell</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 12:18am<b>Tenker</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 1:12am<b>s1s1</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 8:40pm<b>meliodafool_</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 5:12pm<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 3:42pm<b>pickle682</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 1:44pm<b>moiqbal</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 7:07am<b>Memeosaurus</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 3:33am<b>jeffprobs</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 7:50pm<b>QueenJay81</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 5:38am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 6:16pm<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 3:09pm<b>MagnusDeus</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 2:40am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 8:13pm<b>olpally</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 10:18pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 4:22pm<b>bapbap</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 1:15am

Fucked!<b>Tenker</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 7:12am<b>The_Avatar</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:09pm<b>olpally</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 4:19am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 6:17am<b>QueenJay81</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:10pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 7:09am<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:12am<b>briang959</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 3:54am<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 3:24am<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 2:12pm

swimgood's FML badges


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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swimgood's favorite FMLs

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

by fuck / 08/21/2015 at 2:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML

by ouch / 07/01/2015 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I overheard a large group of my friends and acquaintances making spontaneous plans to go see a movie that afternoon. I was the only person not invited. Normally I would have believed their excuse that they thought I was "sick at home", except I was sitting a few feet away the entire time. FML

by ifeelsoloved / 04/09/2015 at 2:25am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 11:26pm / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2015 at 11:02am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 6:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

by No thank you / 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

by bootyislife / 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

by PO'd big bro / 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

by bowler99 / 01/12/2015 at 11:43am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

by BlondePsycho / 12/29/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

by smellyhair / 11/02/2014 at 6:28am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

by jackie89 / 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy

Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said "There's my daughter..." He then turned it to me and said "...and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2014 at 8:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Geek