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Mobility
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Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36097) - you deserved it (2371)
On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, marks the fourth straight night that my girlfriend has screamed and cried in fear, scratching and kicking me in her sleep. The reason? I took her to see Paranormal Activity 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11614) - you deserved it (34503)
On 10/24/2011 at 5:47am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9336) - you deserved it (29010)
On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9336) - you deserved it (29010)
On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9336) - you deserved it (29010)
On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45472) - you deserved it (3594)
On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12353) - you deserved it (44295)
On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)
Today, while cooking with my girlfriend, I thought it would be funny to slap her with a raw porkchop. She thought it would be funny to throw the hot cooking grease on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9886) - you deserved it (35485)
On 10/22/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14282) - you deserved it (40964) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29410) - you deserved it (2174)
On 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm - love - by cmd102 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25979) - you deserved it (4476)
On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)
Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19397) - you deserved it (3099)
On 10/20/2011 at 8:04am - health - by socal000 (man) - United States
Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8091) - you deserved it (43146)
On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17733) - you deserved it (14068)
On 10/19/2011 at 1:38am - work - by derbyboy - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (27688)
On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Monday 20 May 2013
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