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sweetxcandi's favorite FMLs
Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML
by Thatkid / 02/18/2009 at 9:29am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I finally reunited with a lot of old friends from school. It was great to see everyone grown up and hear the stories. At the end we decided to have a group photo for old times sake. They asked me to take the picture. FML
by p00p_m0nsta / 02/09/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML
by tarheels526 / 02/07/2009 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love
- Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I… Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are… Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her…