sweetheart5292

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sweetheart5292

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 February 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11930
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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sweetheart5292's page activity

Visits<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 9:07pm<b>AmericanBadAss</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 12:12pm<b>flyingflies</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 8:52am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 7:06am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 8:54pm<b>Roozb</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 3:56pm<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:59pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:02am<b>DarkLink9001</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:40pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:04am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:33am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:42pm<b>cristy91</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:06am<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 11:30am<b>Anonymous03</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:13pm<b>A7X_all_the_way</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:53am<b>BigC_from_Bama</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:35pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 2:53am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:06am

sweetheart5292's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sweetheart5292's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, was the first time my boyfriend slept over. He was hard, so I woke him up by whispering in his ear, "If you could get me to do anything right now, what would it be?" His response, "Can you get me a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream?" He was hard, for ice cream. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 6:57am / Denmark (Roskilde) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

by showerstupid / 04/04/2009 at 4:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

by ShamedJP / 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got laid off from work. I was being escorted to the elevator when another coworker stepped inside. He said, "How goes it?". I said, "It goes". Then he said, "At least we have a job". FML

by Dude / 04/02/2009 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML

by SupaSu / 04/02/2009 at 1:35am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML

by thathurt / 03/28/2009 at 8:13pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML

by justinherass / 03/28/2009 at 1:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

by rejected / 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

by ThanksMom / 03/26/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

by johnfrank / 03/26/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Love