This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82554) - you deserved it (30348)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, a cute boy told me I looked like a celebrity. Flattered, I asked who I resembled. He responded by saying that I looked exactly like Ugly Betty. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50146) - you deserved it (4715)
On 04/14/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by wishbone - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (124884) - you deserved it (18341)
On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I was about to finish he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck/ear and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (88558) - you deserved it (6574)
On 04/13/2009 at 8:07am - intimacy - by bodyelectric (woman) - United States
Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56048) - you deserved it (2631)
On 04/13/2009 at 2:11am - misc - by TrueStories (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my two year old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32132) - you deserved it (21385)
On 04/12/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he's coming back to say he's joking, he instead say "i'm just kidding its really cheap" and walked away. I may or may not still have a job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39389) - you deserved it (3639)
On 04/11/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by JimmyJazzNJ (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13283) - you deserved it (34586)
On 04/10/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44600) - you deserved it (2663)
On 04/10/2009 at 1:13pm - love - by ruvru - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks "Can I lick your leg?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49451) - you deserved it (20114)
On 04/10/2009 at 5:43am - intimacy - by cherry (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43495) - you deserved it (19579)
On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States
Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43495) - you deserved it (19579)
On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States
Today, I came home expecting a surprise party. It was my birthday and I had overheard my friends planning it all week. Nobody was there. It turns out the party they were planning was for my friend's dog's birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55691) - you deserved it (3535)
On 04/09/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by sheryl_m (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (96547) - you deserved it (4723)
On 04/08/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Crazy09 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31522) - you deserved it (72058)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
