Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sweetheart5292

Search for a member

sweetheart5292

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 February 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10718
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sweetheart5292's page activity

Visits<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 11:06pm<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:55pm<b>support_zombies</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Decky_Bar</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:37pm<b>whatsittoyabitch</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 9:18pm<b>thechoob</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:12pm<b>tylerh912</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Chraatsiah</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:50am<b>zihan789</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 12:14am<b>Blackhawk706</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 12:56am<b>pomnef</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 10:01am<b>cmat84</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 7:35pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 5:57pm<b>hurricanesTheU</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 8:35pm<b>MadProphet</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 8:41am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 6:47pm<b>pancakessdsjsn</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 5:08am<b>LilMsDulce</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:27am

sweetheart5292's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sweetheart5292's favorite FMLs

Today, at my grandmothers funeral I tried my hardest not to cry, only allowing tears to fall and not making any noise, to be respectful at her funeral. Afterwards, my mother tells my father that I didn't cry, which obviously meant that I didn't love my grandmother and had no soul. FML

#1303063
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58714) - you deserved it (4177)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by baddream (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59258) - you deserved it (5405)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59258) - you deserved it (5405)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (74426)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my son and I were on an airplane playing "I Spy" to pass the time. The game went back and forth a few times when my son said, "I spy something yellow." After pointing out numerous yellow objects on the plane I gave up. He said, "Daddy! It's your teeth!" FML

#1225856
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51242) - you deserved it (17926)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:46pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend stopped making out with me to watch a thirty minute infomercial on the Topsy-Turvy upside down tomato planter. FML

#1221446
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54657) - you deserved it (6487)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:02pm - love - by T-Pain (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

#1214403
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59712) - you deserved it (6199)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I texted the hottest girl in the school saying, "I really like you, we should date". She responded with a text saying, "Sorry, I'm not into you." I then got a text saying, "Sorry, my brother stole my phone, and answered, but still it's no". I got rejected twice. Once by a man. FML

#1213141
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58077) - you deserved it (10579)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:09am - love - by misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

#1193319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69045) - you deserved it (6527)

On 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML

#1187689
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54431) - you deserved it (17994)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:52am - misc - by Kaboom (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35628) - you deserved it (93048)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend I was quitting the town baseball team. She said "Great. Now we can get someone with actual talent on the team." I laughed because I thought she was joking. She then replied "What's so funny?" FML

#1183165
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42202) - you deserved it (4924)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by xxbobsan - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

#1118521
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11776) - you deserved it (60133)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by confusedphotographer (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was fixing some photos for a client. I spent 20 minutes trying to Photoshop an unusual black dot out of a picture. Only then did I discover it was a black dot on my computer screen. FML

#1118521
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11776) - you deserved it (60133)

On 04/19/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by confusedphotographer (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

#1100061
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44637) - you deserved it (27454)

On 04/18/2009 at 9:55pm - misc - by pinkblankets (woman) - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: