sweetheart5292

Search for a member

sweetheart5292

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 February 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12062
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

sweetheart5292's page activity

Visits<b>cinderburner23</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 8:20pm<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 9:07pm<b>AmericanBadAss</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 12:12pm<b>flyingflies</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 8:52am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 7:06am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 8:54pm<b>Roozb</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 3:56pm<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:59pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:02am<b>DarkLink9001</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:40pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:04am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:33am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:42pm<b>cristy91</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:06am<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 11:30am<b>Anonymous03</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:13pm<b>A7X_all_the_way</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:53am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 2:53am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:06am

sweetheart5292's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sweetheart5292's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 10:45am / Norway (Troms) / Kids

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2009 at 10:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

by Jinthebar / 05/06/2009 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

by sunboy52 / 05/05/2009 at 3:43am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I sent everyone a text on my phone book saying, "Happy Star Wars Day!!! May the Fourth be with you!!" I forgot to uncheck my ex-girlfriend's number. She texted back, "One of the many reasons I broke up with you." FML

by 1suckatL1fe / 05/04/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 12:51pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:06am / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, I got a cross-country job promotion. I decided to plan my Going-Away-Forever party, and bought a pack of 100 invitations. After mailing them out to all my friends, I have 92 left. FML

by caphis / 05/03/2009 at 2:17am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2009 at 4:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy