Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sweetheart5292

Search for a member

sweetheart5292

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 February 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11052
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sweetheart5292's page activity

Visits<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 11:30am<b>Anonymous03</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:13pm<b>A7X_all_the_way</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:53am<b>BigC_from_Bama</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:35pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 9:15pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:06am<b>turtles4life</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 7:25am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:12pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:30am<b>lat1404</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 5:35am<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 11:06pm<b>dudeman1212</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:55pm<b>support_zombies</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:36pm<b>Decky_Bar</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:37pm<b>whatsittoyabitch</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 9:18pm<b>thechoob</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 8:12pm<b>tylerh912</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm

Fucked!<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:06am

sweetheart5292's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sweetheart5292's favorite FMLs

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58092) - you deserved it (21698)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29016) - you deserved it (86277)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

#2003683
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51306) - you deserved it (7894)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59340) - you deserved it (23527)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting next to this really cute guy in choir class. Trying to make conversation, I asked him what his favorite song was. He replied "Leave Me Alone". I asked him who it was by and he said, "It's not a song, I just want you to leave me alone". FML

#1963959
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28538) - you deserved it (8176)

On 05/15/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by jayden5 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML

#1869904
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11890) - you deserved it (78630)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:23am - misc - by Permafucked (woman) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

#1834550
640 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94758) - you deserved it (8638)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30471) - you deserved it (48050)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

#1791192
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24953) - you deserved it (82159)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

#1782670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77290) - you deserved it (6693)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31038) - you deserved it (78594)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML

#1775796
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18950) - you deserved it (73383)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:48am - love - by rawkdinosawr (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: