sweetheart5292

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sweetheart5292

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 February 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11585
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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sweetheart5292's page activity

Visits<b>Roozb</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 3:56pm<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 6:59pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:02am<b>DarkLink9001</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:40pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:04am<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 11:33am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:42pm<b>cristy91</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:06am<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 11:30am<b>Anonymous03</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:13pm<b>A7X_all_the_way</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:53am<b>BigC_from_Bama</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:35pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 9:15pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:06am<b>turtles4life</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 7:25am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:12pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:30am

Fucked!<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 6:06am

sweetheart5292's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sweetheart5292's favorite FMLs

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 1:17am / United States (Rhode Island) / Transportation

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

by UncleRory / 05/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting next to this really cute guy in choir class. Trying to make conversation, I asked him what his favorite song was. He replied "Leave Me Alone". I asked him who it was by and he said, "It's not a song, I just want you to leave me alone". FML

by jayden5 / 05/15/2009 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, not wanting to be known as a lightweight anymore, I started drinking with some guy friends. After one beer I ended up in bed with one of them who kindly put my bra back on for me after, as I was too sloshed. I'm no longer known as lightweight, but instead, the slutty drunk. FML

by Permafucked / 05/12/2009 at 10:23am / United States (South Dakota) / Love

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

by Hallllo / 05/11/2009 at 1:12am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

by Failoffel / 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

by Jeremy / 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

by notsexy / 05/09/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted. 'My girlfriend is so stupid she can't even text the right number.' FML

by rawkdinosawr / 05/09/2009 at 11:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Love