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sweet2u22's favorite FMLs
by lonely / 03/21/2011 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 3:01pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML
by AwkwardWaitress / 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work
by HotAsTits / 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
by Abby_gummibear / 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML
by jaimie / 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Uh oh... / 03/19/2011 at 4:45am / United States / Love
by anonymous / 03/19/2011 at 1:53am / United States / Transportation
by dollarstorepwnr / 03/19/2011 at 1:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML
by musicmaniac13 / 03/18/2011 at 3:08pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
by Mr. Sensitive Nips / 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by boom / 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML
- Today, I learned that my parents want me to move out. Because my little brother has them convinced… Today my girlfriend needed to talk to me. My family put me in a lot of debt then kicked me out for… Today, I visited my parents with my four year old. My son started to excitedly tell his grandmother…