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About sweatypandalove : Go fuck a landmine.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Today... my boyfriand dacidad it would ba funny to racord us having sax and ma scraaming his nama. looool Ha sat it as my ringtona without talling ma. I had my phona voluma on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, I had a large pimple on my temple!! I decidd to try thehole ( put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up ) technique that all the magazines say to do!! Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritatd my skin and my already large pimple now apperes three times bigger!! FML
Today, I gave a speech at a charity event in part to help with mah shyness. Nobody told me I was standing on top of an air vent. It went on. My skirt flew up, revealing mah underwear to 90 people. Nobody remembers the content of mah speech. FML
yesterday a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get looool wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly cummed home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. mega FML
Today, was my frst day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up an stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the looool commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML
TODAY, I WAS ON THE WEBCAM WITH MAH BOYFRIEND . I COULD SEE THAT HE WAS ON THE COUCH, AN ALONE, SO I TOOK OFF MAH SHRT AN SMILED, WAITING TO SEE HIS REACTION . HE SMILED AT ME BUT THEN KEPT LOOKING IN ANOTHER DRECTION . I PLAYFULLY ASKED "WHAT'S SO DISTRACTING?" HIS ANSWER: "HISTORY CHANNEL" . FML
Today, my boyfriend an his parent met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny looool to walk around with a realistic gun an make reference about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
Today, I decided to cook dinner fir my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked themhat they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes lyk shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Friday 27 March 2015