About sweatypandalove : Go fuck a landmine.
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sweatypandalove's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
by thirdwheel / 02/15/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I had a large pimple on my temple. I decided to try the whole "put toothpaste on the zit to make it dry up" technique that all the magazines say to do. Not only is my pimple still there, but the toothpaste irritated my skin and my already large pimple now appears three times bigger. FML
by Zit-Blues / 01/04/2010 at 8:50am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by mclovin09 / 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave a speech at a charity event in part to help with my shyness. Nobody told me I was standing on top of an air vent. It went on. My skirt flew up, revealing my underwear to 90 people. Nobody remembers the content of my speech. FML
by paula434 / 12/05/2009 at 5:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML
by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 3:42am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/23/2009 at 8:40pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by Imaginary girlfriend / 09/21/2009 at 12:16am / Love
Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML
by Lukev7 / 09/12/2009 at 9:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML
by notenough / 08/29/2009 at 12:27am / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
by NoCookForYou / 08/22/2009 at 2:29am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Ahhwtf / 08/18/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Washington) / Health
- Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well,… Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then… Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out…