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About sweatypandalove : Go fuck a landmine.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Today, I was working alone in the office with mah brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round mah face. It's just us in the office next week. FML
Yesterday, mah dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see mah boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above mah driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving mah boyfriend head in the driveway. FML
Today... the guy I've had the biggest crush on cummed to mah house to pick me up fir our first date. As we were leaving... mah father screams out "Do u still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML
Today, my girlfriend an I were playfully arguing about wo loved te oter more. After about a minute of tis, my girlfriend walked over an kicked me in te crotc as ard as se could. Se ten said, "Tere, now you don't love me as muc. I win." FML
Today, I Was Having Sex With Girlfriend When I Came. She Got Pissed And Slapped Me Really Hard For Cumming Inside Her Cuz She Didnt Want To Get Pregnant. 1. I Was Wearing A Condom. 2. She's On The Pill. 3. We Were Having Anal Sex. FML
Friday 27 March 2015