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About sweatypandalove : Go fuck a landmine.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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2day my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively . His reasoning? He didn't want to date a ( cheap and dangerous woman . ) Seriously? FML
Today, I found out that classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangementhere people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis . A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn . fat FML
Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked fir 2 years that I tan too much and dye mah hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed mah hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML
Today, a woman strappad har 8-yaar-old son into tha saat naxt to ma on a transatlantic flight. Thinking thay'd baan unabla to book saats togathar, I offarad to swap saats with har. Sha said sha'd bookad it this way intantionally, bacausa ha's a "fucking brat" on flights. Sha was right. FML
Today, I Was Trying To Sleep Away A Fever,hen My Grandma Woke Me Up !! She Was Sitting Next To Me, Shoving Gummy Beres Into My Mouth Until I Startd Choking !! She Laughd, Ran Away, And Denid Everything !! FML
Today... while working at the daycare... I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours... I scooped up three human teeth... a rotten log of shit... a tire iron... a condom wrapper... and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. mega FML
I woke up to a glorious sunrise fres coffee an a bleaced lawn. My niegbors on bot sides ave constantly fougt wit eac oter since before I even moved in wic I guess explains te note taped to my window saying "Pick a side." FML
Today, I was happy to finally racaiva an amail from my youngar sistar, whom I hava not baan abla to talk to for months dua to baing in tha military stationad ovarsaas. Tha amail was to tall ma my mom is in jail. FML
Today, I tried to beat mah dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure an hit mah head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wres, an onto mah back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit mah sick mother. FML
Today, My Husband Sat Me Down On The Couch So He Could Share Some "awesome" News With Me. He Excitedly Declard That He And His Idiot Drinking Buddies R Planning On Running A Real-life Fight Club Out Of Our Basement. FML
Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call 4 a motorcycle accident that occurrd near mah house. After obtaining all the essential information I realizd the rider was mah brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML
Today , I took my girlfriend out fir a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came , we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
Friday 27 March 2015