sweatypandalove

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Offline (the 10/11/2014 at 6:49pm)

sweatypandalove

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2449
  • Number of comments : 194
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About sweatypandalove : Go fuck a landmine.

sweatypandalove's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 4:14pm<b>laurenada</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 5:13pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 3:29am<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 12:22am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:50pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 4:56am<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 3:16pm<b>atinytoebean</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 10:45pm<b>britbear0731</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 11:01am<b>KingLewisII</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 1:00pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:11pm<b>MadameMacabre</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 4:29am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 10:40am<b>DemonLady</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 1:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:23am<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 3:55pm<b>geekysweet</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:01am<b>alyse_galligan</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:45pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 6:56pm

sweatypandalove's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sweatypandalove's badges

sweatypandalove's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

by Miami6and3 / 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

by cassidy_smith12 / 08/24/2013 at 10:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

by Awkward / 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm / United States / Work

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

by nutfreak / 08/12/2013 at 11:24am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, on his way out of our apartment, my roommate's friend reached over and grabbed a handful of my popcorn. I was only mildly annoyed, until a little later, when I pulled out from between my teeth what could only have been a pubic hair. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 1:38pm / Slovenia (Ruse Commune) / Miscellaneous

Today, after our grandmother's memorial service, my 9-year-old sister took it upon herself to solemnly inform the priest in front of everyone in attendance that, "You lied. Jesus isn't here." FML

by bri_sci94 / 07/23/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, after asking my psychiatrist about natural alternatives to medication for my depression, she replied, "Why not Zoidberg?" FML

by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

by notkatvond / 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm / United States / Work

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays