Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

swasher

Offline (the 11/02/2014 at 5:18am) | Search for a member

swasher

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 963
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

swasher's page activity

Visits<b>alietblv</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 4:34am<b>RandomMishaps</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:47am<b>RipperOBongs</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Nat939</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:32am<b>jacob2332</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 6:58pm<b>ajeppsen</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:02am<b>Siettadulce</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:39am<b>Saraj07</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:56pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 9:41am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:33am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Tommiix</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 2:29pm<b>kelsorg</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 2:25pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:06pm<b>lannisters</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 3:38am<b>Darkestsoul</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:12am<b>Timpa70</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:52pm

swasher's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of swasher's badges

swasher's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47315) - you deserved it (10294)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

#21209396
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51937) - you deserved it (3885)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm - misc - by chloecamp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50476) - you deserved it (6319)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML

#21209168
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41327) - you deserved it (3408)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:04pm - work - by AFH2O - United States (California)

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

#21208337
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34685) - you deserved it (8380)

On 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm - animals - by dogggg (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49952) - you deserved it (5337)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42453) - you deserved it (7015)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55791) - you deserved it (10980)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44210) - you deserved it (4220)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46670) - you deserved it (16794)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36213) - you deserved it (3164)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42450) - you deserved it (4253)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

#21200980
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44380) - you deserved it (3465)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

#21200725
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49294) - you deserved it (5509)

On 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm - misc - by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was on the internet playing a game. I have a speech impediment, and the guy running it told me to get off his server for making fun of disabled people. FML

#21199175
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (3785)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Wow (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: