swasher

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Offline (the 06/08/2015 at 5:39am)

swasher

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3272
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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swasher's page activity

Visits<b>alietblv</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 4:34am<b>RandomMishaps</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:47am<b>RipperOBongs</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:48pm<b>Nat939</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:32am<b>jacob2332</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 6:58pm<b>ajeppsen</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 8:02am<b>Siettadulce</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:39am<b>Saraj07</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 1:56pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 9:41am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 12:33am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Tommiix</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 2:29pm<b>kelsorg</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 2:25pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 2:06pm<b>lannisters</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 3:38am<b>Darkestsoul</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:12am<b>Timpa70</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:52pm

swasher's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of swasher's badges

swasher's favorite FMLs

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

by Jeff / 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm / United States / Love

Today, every house in my neighborhood was vandalized. They skipped our house. Everybody thinks it was me. FML

by chloecamp / 07/14/2014 at 11:35pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

by thedoc / 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML

by AFH2O / 07/14/2014 at 7:04pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML

by dogggg / 07/13/2014 at 10:10pm / India (Maharashtra) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

by egged / 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm / Singapore / Health

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm / Work

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN / 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous