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Offline (the 03/07/2016 at 2:23am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 January 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1777
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

About swarm20 : My names John.

football, hockey, and nascar

camping, hiking, fishing, and boating

swarm20's page activity

Visits<b>Natsuko0818</b> - the 10/29/2016 at 11:23pm<b>connorthomas</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 10:36am<b>carleybeak</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:21pm<b>supermarxiste75</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 5:12pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 5:56pm<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:59am<b>prout92340</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:57am<b>914smv</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 8:35pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 7:08pm<b>gunnstreet</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:42pm<b>Honeybee97</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 4:23pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:31am<b>ChinchillaLady</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 10:50pm<b>Toonice45</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 4:27pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 4:21am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 4:36am<b>hannah_r_nelson</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 11:48pm

Fucked!<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:59am<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 2:31am<b>tintarroja</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 6:01pm<b>sweetgurl1985</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Hop6e</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 2:48am<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 9:48am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:03pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:40am<b>Cloco98</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 11:15pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 4:44am<b>sturschaedel</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 2:06pm<b>hannah_r_nelson</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:00am<b>_Peppermint_</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 2:28am<b>horrorbabe1408</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 5:27am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 4:48am<b>ashleyyeah</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 6:35am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 2:26pm<b>satanarroliga</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 4:39pm

swarm20's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of swarm20's badges

swarm20's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm / United States / Animals

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 7:03am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

by ellen77 / 09/13/2013 at 1:55am / United States (California) / Work

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

by chunkymonkey / 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm / Health

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

by pandabear / 02/12/2010 at 2:52pm / United Kingdom (Magherafelt) / Miscellaneous