swansung

Search for a member

swansung

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 September 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7649
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

swansung's page activity

Visits<b>Snake_Eater343</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 3:57am<b>mizzles</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 9:44am

swansung's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

swansung's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

by nikto / 06/02/2011 at 9:01pm / Love

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

by fuck / 06/02/2011 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids

Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML

by jsalmons / 06/02/2011 at 1:39pm / Germany (Bayern) / Intimacy

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

by minecraftwilldie / 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

by brittaneejanex / 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

by ohcrap / 06/02/2011 at 6:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

by tomuchtime / 06/02/2011 at 4:46am / Intimacy

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 12:17am / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter turned 18. She decided to use this day to tell me everywhere her and her boyfriends have had sex in my house to get revenge for being overprotective. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, as I was driving to work, I glanced in my rear view mirror to see an old man behind me using binoculars to see in front of him since we were stuck in a huge traffic jam. He rear ended me. FML

by trafficfail / 06/01/2011 at 12:43pm / Transportation

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

by aarone23 / 06/01/2011 at 9:30am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

by Username / 06/01/2011 at 8:35am / Canada / Work

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

by iscreamforicecream / 06/01/2011 at 7:53am / United States (Arizona) / Transportation