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swansung

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swansung
  • Town/Country : New Port Richey, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 September 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 3922
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

#16583514
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37475) - you deserved it (9242)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML

#16579726
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36895) - you deserved it (3623)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:04pm - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

#16579288
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13797) - you deserved it (53991)

On 06/09/2011 at 2:30pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my co-worker finally gave me a check for the money he owes me. In the memo line, he wrote "for swallowing". Now I have to go cash it. FML

#16577397
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30984) - you deserved it (6079)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Patrick R - United States (Texas)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35144) - you deserved it (15379)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

#16559634
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39978) - you deserved it (3267)

On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

#16556995
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40869) - you deserved it (11958)

On 06/08/2011 at 1:21am - intimacy - by kimboslice106 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML

#16551400
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30643) - you deserved it (6099)

On 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm - work - by Bee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook and changed our relationship status to single just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

#16550492
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36549) - you deserved it (5620)

On 06/07/2011 at 7:09pm - love - by fmfb - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

#16548173
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35075) - you deserved it (9902)

On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

#16542876
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (3066)

On 06/07/2011 at 5:28am - love - by S. Tucker - United States

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

#16542323
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10127) - you deserved it (36656)

On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42966) - you deserved it (11017)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42966) - you deserved it (11017)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that if your boss deletes you off Facebook, it's probably not a good sign. FML

#16541885
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (3821)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:48am - work - by IloveMaroon5 - United States (Texas)



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