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swansung

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swansung

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4770
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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swansung's page activity

Visits<b>mizzles</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 9:44am

swansung's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

swansung's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9019) - you deserved it (43554)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

#16687170
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32795) - you deserved it (9200)

On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

#16676970
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33672) - you deserved it (7886)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

#16675127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32491) - you deserved it (2869)

On 06/15/2011 at 9:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

#16671761
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36564) - you deserved it (3407)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:46am - work - by MegaBear - United States

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

#16667115
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36674) - you deserved it (14237)

On 06/14/2011 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Username - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12638) - you deserved it (57880)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37220) - you deserved it (3528)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

#16659246
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13947) - you deserved it (35747)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13677) - you deserved it (47951)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to be the one to break it to my daughter that WWE fighting was staged. She began crying. However, last month she didn't shed a single tear at her grandmother's funeral. FML

#16655787
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (5110)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:08am - kids - by mk (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

#16644081
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10407) - you deserved it (37026)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:37pm - misc - by failure461 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48182) - you deserved it (5570)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML

#16637364
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27030) - you deserved it (11350)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by cycler - United States

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

#16628942
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30099) - you deserved it (9859)

On 06/12/2011 at 3:21pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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