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swansung

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swansung

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6397
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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swansung's page activity

Visits<b>Snake_Eater343</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 3:57am<b>mizzles</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 9:44am

swansung's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

swansung's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53722) - you deserved it (16807)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34030) - you deserved it (3629)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

#16957068
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15453) - you deserved it (45248)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10350) - you deserved it (43339)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

#16945555
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29860) - you deserved it (4305)

On 07/02/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymouse (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

#16945006
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46372) - you deserved it (4876)

On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37258) - you deserved it (5040)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51491) - you deserved it (4757)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35646) - you deserved it (5429)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64840) - you deserved it (6763)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30196) - you deserved it (3801)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10347) - you deserved it (25341)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36837) - you deserved it (4605)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while a very cute girl was explaining the apartment's laundry machines to me, I blurted out, "It's okay, my pants are used to handling huge loads". FML

#16758524
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15734) - you deserved it (37167)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:37am - misc - by NewTenant (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

#16701794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9800) - you deserved it (45734)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm - health - by Hopslammer (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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