Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

swansung

Search for a member

swansung

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4772
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

swansung's page activity

Visits<b>mizzles</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 9:44am

swansung's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

swansung's favorite FMLs

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11695) - you deserved it (65517)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my wife threw a piece of tofu cake at my head for suggesting that the money she'd spent on magic "healing" crystals and homeopathic "remedies" would've just as well been spent on a chocolate teapot. FML

#17293531
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23565) - you deserved it (6459)

On 07/29/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by notabeliever - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

#17292941
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32943) - you deserved it (6645)

On 07/29/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned that my daughter's gerbils are not afraid of the vacuum cleaner. FML

#17279585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (9473)

On 07/27/2011 at 2:09pm - kids - by corasmom (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML

#17254567
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27143) - you deserved it (11327)

On 07/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by youjustsuck (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML

#17253046
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12331) - you deserved it (56550)

On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

#17252613
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31517) - you deserved it (3102)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32833) - you deserved it (8232)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62280) - you deserved it (7315)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

#17227396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36108) - you deserved it (7575)

On 07/23/2011 at 6:29am - misc - by tgd4444 (man) - Malaysia (Johor)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

#17226602
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28525) - you deserved it (4185)

On 07/23/2011 at 3:49am - love - by MaHalKiTa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family is on the third day of driving cross country. My husband is still pretending he is driving on a NASCAR track, sound effects and all. FML

#17192528
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23884) - you deserved it (4049)

On 07/20/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by Stacy Dee - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34156) - you deserved it (7153)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

#17176803
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8924) - you deserved it (67150)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27485) - you deserved it (6085)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: