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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6015
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

swampbaby985's page activity

Visits<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 3:59am<b>smeboo</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 7:54pm<b>delfino1604</b> - the 10/15/2016 at 1:58pm<b>Mons</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 10:51am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 6:54am<b>HieronymusBoche</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 10:33am<b>carleybeak</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 8:52pm<b>justplainawkwrd</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 12:18pm<b>wellthisisntgood</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 11:05pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 1:45pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 10:18am<b>toolazytotype99</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 11:06pm<b>lovelylucifer</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 8:23pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:13am<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:06pm<b>BexBaby86</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:41am<b>emmnguyenn</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 12:42am<b>slightlyadulty</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:26am

Fucked!<b>toolazytotype99</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 5:07am<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 7:35pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:30pm<b>Celion91</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 4:59pm<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 11:15am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 10:00pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:07am<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:16am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 4:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 3:43am<b>bigredmonkeybutt</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:08am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:53pm<b>popper668</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:59am<b>AllyJo1231</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 8:38pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:54am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:18pm

swampbaby985's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!


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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

by poppet2010 / 01/17/2010 at 10:58am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss told me when I transfer to a Target in Orlando I should work in the clothing department. He said it would be a good way for me to meet chicks. I told him all the girls who work in clothing in that store are ugly as hell. Apparently his daughters work there. I never knew that. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2010 at 12:39am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

by busrides / 12/24/2009 at 4:35am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm / United States / Love

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

by Silent / 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML

by Embarassedd / 11/26/2009 at 12:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML

by ellie / 11/23/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I told the man I've been in love with for 3 years, who also happens to be my boss, how I felt. He responds by filing sexual harassment charges against me. FML

by awwshit / 10/13/2009 at 10:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

by NotAParabola / 10/07/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

by APetsPet / 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I told my girlfriend of 9 months that I was ready for marriage and start having kids. She hasn't called or texted me since. FML

by bigdawg702 / 09/26/2009 at 1:34am / United States / Love