swampbaby985

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swampbaby985

22Fucked!

swampbaby985swampbaby985
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5513
  • Number of comments : 103
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About swampbaby985 : I come here mostly for shits and giggles, nothing more.

swampbaby985's page activity

Visits<b>lovelylucifer</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 8:23pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 5:33pm<b>Emma1562</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:13am<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 12:06pm<b>BexBaby86</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 6:41am<b>emmnguyenn</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 12:42am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 3:29am<b>slightlyadulty</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:26am<b>Blizz18</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 9:48pm<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 4:42pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 4:30pm<b>demix</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:56am<b>juliakte</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 11:12pm<b>Flameuz</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:40am<b>bbenedict</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 11:51am<b>Celion91</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 10:08pm<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 11:26pm<b>aruden</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 2:51am

Fucked!<b>Magnoxidans</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 7:35pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 10:30pm<b>Celion91</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 4:59pm<b>SOILEDIT</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 11:15am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 10:00pm<b>isnobodyhere</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:36pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:07am<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:16am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 4:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 3:43am<b>bigredmonkeybutt</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:08am<b>Malteser95</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 10:53pm<b>popper668</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:59am<b>AllyJo1231</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 8:38pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 5:54am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 11:18pm<b>ambert0322</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 1:08pm

swampbaby985's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of swampbaby985's badges

swampbaby985's favorite FMLs

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

by radicaloser / 03/25/2011 at 4:50am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

by Kim / 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

by jaimie / 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

by WTF / 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm / Health

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML

by No O-face / 01/17/2011 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my mom gave me my Christmas gift. It was a letter containing $200 and a note saying, "Here's the down payment for your apartment, please just move out already." I turned 18 last week. Thanks mom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, at Arby's, there were two cute guys behind me in line. Right before ordering, my dad said loudly "Go get the calorie sheet. You need to lose more weight before you think about going after those guys." FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2010 at 1:29am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

by stifledbyyou / 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

by sydysyd / 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy