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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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swallowthesun

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swallowthesun
  • Town/Country : Dodge City, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 June 1993 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1695
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About swallowthesun : I don't feel like telling your about me.

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swallowthesun's favorite FMLs

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (154548) - you deserved it (18179)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (21856) - you deserved it (81303)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

#303053 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (68413) - you deserved it (5924)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by Misc. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

#300638 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (53963)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML

#299103 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (62560) - you deserved it (5437)

On 03/13/2009 at 3:27am - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my fiance's divorce was finalized. To celebrate, we went out to dinner at this expensive restaurant. After dinner, he goes to the restroom. A couple minutes later, the check comes with a note saying: "Thanks! Gonna enjoy bachelor life. It's over." Left me with the $200 bill. He drove. FML

#231827 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (69292) - you deserved it (8264)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:07am - love - by RME (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom had my girlfriend and I over. Out of the blue, she pulled out my grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow. FML

#172507 (413)

I agree, your life sucks (72242) - you deserved it (152234)

On 03/01/2009 at 4:58pm - love - by MrCanoe (man) - Canada (Manitoba)