Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

swaggyswagswag

Online | Search for a member

swaggyswagswag

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 377
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

swaggyswagswag's page activity

Visits<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:43pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 5:45pm<b>symboic</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 6:48am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:09am<b>pink_lightning</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:21am<b>pptm</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 5:39am<b>a2332j</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:20pm<b>julaylay99</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 5:19pm<b>enriquegonzolas</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:14pm<b>freedomflyer12</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 12:39pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:41am<b>Smeelover27</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:58pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 6:19pm

swaggyswagswag's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of swaggyswagswag's badges

swaggyswagswag's favorite FMLs

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30677) - you deserved it (2283)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

#21298328
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34669) - you deserved it (2068)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:17pm - misc - by really - Canada (Alberta)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43334) - you deserved it (3813)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34235) - you deserved it (4379)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was supposed to go in for a polygraph test as part of the hiring process to be a cop, but I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep. Finally two hours before the exam, I fell into a deep sleep, so deep that I slept through all my alarms. Worst part: I couldn't lie about sleeping in. FML

#21296003
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (4671)

On 11/10/2014 at 4:10am - work - by Pixel (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36299) - you deserved it (2406)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32523) - you deserved it (4550)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a nurse asked my relationship status. I answered, "Married". She then asked if there was any possibility of me being pregnant. I hardly contained my snort, before responding, "No, you have to have sex for that." I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that it's true or her laughter. FML

#21275225
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37598) - you deserved it (4972)

On 10/10/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by bluevix (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I attended an assembly regarding senior graduation. The assistant principal told us to look to the left and right of us, because those people would be our friends for the rest of our lives. I was the only one in the entire row. FML

#21273575
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38169) - you deserved it (3605)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by allergic_to_bull (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38849) - you deserved it (9851)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I entered the lecture hall where my class takes place. I sat in the front row as usual, but I noticed that none of the other students looked familiar. I quickly realised that I was in the wrong class after a different professor showed up and told me to get out. FML

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44447) - you deserved it (2616)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38053) - you deserved it (3360)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36421) - you deserved it (6852)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43606) - you deserved it (16573)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: