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swaggalikethat

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swaggalikethat
  • Town/Country : Anywhere but here, Mars
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 295
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About swaggalikethat : I read these while sitting on the John…you know, just for a laugh. Does that mean other people's pain is my pleasure? I don't talk a lot cuz no one really listens. Message me, I'm bored.

Oh yeah things i liiikke…
Boxing
Anime
Spongebob
Video games
Mayday Parade
Green Day
All Time Low
A Day to Remember
Newfound Glory
Panic At The Disco
Stargazing
Running
Poetry
Daydreaming
Guitar
Traveling

…me in a nutshell

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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swaggalikethat's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38103) - you deserved it (3296)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

#21102110
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41174) - you deserved it (4727)

On 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by derped-out sperm (man) - Ireland

Today, it was my first ever live piano performance. It went all great until the end, when I stood up, slipped, and smashed face-first into the keys. I've lost half a tooth and all my dignity. FML

#21100221
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40723) - you deserved it (2962)

On 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45181) - you deserved it (10997)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

#21094549
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38758) - you deserved it (5611)

On 03/23/2014 at 7:02pm - misc - by butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

#21093322
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35149) - you deserved it (2970)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:56am - work - by Dr.Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39861) - you deserved it (3756)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

#21091327
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34769) - you deserved it (4682)

On 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40226) - you deserved it (3288)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38108) - you deserved it (18137)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML

#21077048
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55111) - you deserved it (6855)

On 03/03/2014 at 5:35pm - intimacy - by fuck you, Odin, FUCK YOU (man) - United States (California)

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

#21075108
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34070) - you deserved it (13140)

On 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm - money - by SarahNB - United States (Utah)

Today, and for the past 38 weeks of my pregnancy, my husband decided to amuse himself by following me around, making whale noises. FML

#21074731
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46265) - you deserved it (4821)

On 03/01/2014 at 5:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38310) - you deserved it (8501)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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