Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 02/14/2014 at 12:34am) | Search for a member
About sushichick : I'm sushichick. I used to just lurk around here but I got sucked into the wonderful world of commenting and it's addicting as fuck. Please excuse my vulgar language, sarcasm, and overt narcissism. (People, keep thumbing me up please, you're boosting my already over-inflated ego! :D)
In all seriousness, I just try to be myself and want to leave my own legacy here (no offense to the likes of Doc, Noor and Perdix, they're pretty fucking amazing). Message me, bitches, I can now respond on my mobile device! :D
12/12/12: A day I'll never forget, my first FML was published. It still brings a tear to my eye this day.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML
Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML
Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML
Friday 30 January 2015