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superxmario91

Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 4:58am) | Search for a member

superxmario91

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 September 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1379
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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superxmario91's page activity

Visits<b>sterling1113</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 6:48pm

superxmario91's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of superxmario91's badges

superxmario91's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

#21034014
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45404) - you deserved it (30784)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56031) - you deserved it (9004)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

#21033122
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39849) - you deserved it (7398)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by I.Want.Food. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48332) - you deserved it (7534)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (56756)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML

#21031915
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51590) - you deserved it (5331)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by yes i meant ex-boyfriend (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML

#21031747
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48504) - you deserved it (5763)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after arriving home from work I found that my dog took a dump down the air conditioning vents on the floor. Now the whole house smells so good. FML

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40120) - you deserved it (7706)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51617) - you deserved it (11561)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58374) - you deserved it (5182)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My boyfriend thinks I'm faking the whole thing in revenge for the fight we had yesterday. FML

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

#21028790
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42697) - you deserved it (5640)

On 01/15/2014 at 2:22pm - misc - by coop42 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that the generous gift from my boyfriend of a new iPhone was only given so he could use the "find my phone" function to make sure I'm always where I say I am each day. I'm being stalked by my own boyfriend. FML

#21028727
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49578) - you deserved it (8240)

On 01/15/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56794) - you deserved it (13941)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)



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