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superxmario91

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superxmario91
  • Town/Country : Bronx, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 September 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 814
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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superxmario91's last visitors

superxmario91's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of superxmario91's badges

superxmario91's favorite FMLs

Today, after my car being in the shop for over a day and with no updates from the dealership, I decided to pay them a visit. The place was almost empty, and they hadn't done any work on my car. But judging by the used condom on my back seat, somebody got their own oil checked. FML

#21053684
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42173) - you deserved it (3481)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41611) - you deserved it (8937)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46607) - you deserved it (15545)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

#21052943
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38778) - you deserved it (13090)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by cryface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, like every day, I had to walk to my bus stop. The only difference today is there was snow and ice over everything. Not only did I slip and fall, soaking both myself and the contents of my bag, the bus driver saw me there at the bus stop and drove straight past. FML

#21051124
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40985) - you deserved it (3214)

On 02/05/2014 at 9:07am - misc - by no snow day (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (38580)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

#21050614
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36208) - you deserved it (6498)

On 02/04/2014 at 8:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, the guy I was sexting asked me to stop including my face in the pictures. FML

#21050596
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43859) - you deserved it (16999)

On 02/04/2014 at 7:41pm - intimacy - by khfhjfsb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51238) - you deserved it (5871)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52714) - you deserved it (5574)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

#21049461
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41064) - you deserved it (5318)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (7451)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38998) - you deserved it (9482)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my sister what she thought of my boyfriend. She said, "He's nice. Deserves better than you, really." FML

#21048143
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39599) - you deserved it (5034)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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