superxmario91

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Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 4:58am)

superxmario91

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 September 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3558
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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superxmario91's page activity

Visits<b>sbarua219</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:31am<b>swaggingout</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 9:55am<b>sterling1113</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 6:48pm

Fucked!<b>swaggingout</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 3:55pm

superxmario91's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of superxmario91's badges

superxmario91's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his chest. He was so worried about catching shit from the guys on his swim team that he dislocated my jaw trying to get me off him. FML

by aireeahna / 02/12/2014 at 2:43pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML

by Stuck / 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2014 at 1:11pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

by airhead2015 / 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched the Sochi Winter Games online. Excited by an athlete's victory, I yelled out, "YEAH!" to 20-or-so silent coworkers. As if to redeem myself, I then said, "Don't pretend like you're all working you lot!" Our boss was right behind me. FML

by Anonyme / 02/12/2014 at 4:47am / Work

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

by not even getting any of her shrimp / 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

by Anonymous / 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

by took it / 02/09/2014 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

by Tara115 / 02/09/2014 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

by look before you speak / 02/09/2014 at 2:12am / United States / Love

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

by sierraleeannee / 02/09/2014 at 1:44am / United States / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

by O_o / 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

by fuck you, dad / 02/08/2014 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

by grandma / 02/08/2014 at 10:12am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous