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superxmario91's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
superxmario91's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML
by owl + bungee cord / 01/07/2014 at 3:38pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by fat / 01/07/2014 at 7:41am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
by innocent / 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
by CatLady / 01/06/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realised after showering that I didn't have a towel, so I thought I would risk a naked dash to my brother's room to steal one of his. He and his friend were in the room and both agreed that I needed a "trim". FML
by Anonymous / 01/06/2014 at 1:59pm / South Africa / Intimacy
by rain1 / 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML
by stillhurting / 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML
by I will find you and I will fucking fuck y / 01/05/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Love
by give me an F / 01/05/2014 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by fuckmuppeter512 / 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 1:10am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by notsohandy / 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy
- Today, at my job at a one man kiosk convenient store I had to go use the restroom majorly. I had a… Today, while at work I was talking about my ex girlfriend to a coworker on the shop floor. Just as… Today, my pregnancy took a new level when my morning sickness caused me to throw up on the bathroom…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, it’s exam day in Sweden. Yesterday, I prepared three fountain pens and six cartridges. The… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…