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supersmiles's favorite FMLs
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
by squeltorey / 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML
by dawn / 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 10:43am / Japan (Tokyo) / Health
by Shelby / 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by gaga / 05/22/2012 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by phoneless / 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm / Jordan / Miscellaneous
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Kids
by pmek / 03/26/2012 at 5:11am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Major3 / 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 3:26am / Libyan Arab Jamahiriya / Intimacy