About superguppy19 : I'm chill I'm a guppy and that's it :p fishy fishy
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Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53413) - you deserved it (8612)
On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I passed by a small shop and decided to go in to look at the jeans. Before I could even step in, the shop owner told me expressionlessly, "All the sizes here are too small for you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48022) - you deserved it (6048)
On 03/05/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Brrrb (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (185234) - you deserved it (21614)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47074) - you deserved it (17682)
On 03/04/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by hoovered (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63533) - you deserved it (13059)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47998) - you deserved it (3385)
On 03/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Elis (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I put my hand into a vending machine to retrieve a bottle of water that was caught in the slot. After a minute, I realized I was trapped. 2 hours, 4 fire trucks, 3 police cars, and 1 ambulance later I was freed. The vending machine was in pieces and the bottle of water wasn't even for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37536) - you deserved it (9646)
On 02/26/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by VenderBender (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I just studied for 13.5 hours completely outlining a book for history. Thirty minutes before the test, I realized I had been reading the wrong book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (30899)
On 02/23/2009 at 10:32am - work - by Nic (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21907) - you deserved it (60458)
On 02/22/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by madfather (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67066) - you deserved it (5797)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by not getting any anymore (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (7579)
On 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by taperjeangirl - United States (Washington)
Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13666) - you deserved it (91240)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, the priest was handing out red roses after church. The woman ahead of me asked for a rose. The priest said : "Sorry, we are only giving them out to single women since they didn't get any for valentines day." Then he hands one to me. This was the 1st time I have been to that church. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31337) - you deserved it (3039)
On 02/17/2009 at 6:44pm - love - by KC (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went out to dinner with my family. I was given a kids menu when the hostess sat us down. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (2026)
Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47427) - you deserved it (13280)
On 02/16/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by pineapple456 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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