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Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While Im brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40385) - you deserved it (20785)
On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21742) - you deserved it (35719)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47630) - you deserved it (9057)
On 03/01/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by Ashley J. (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9346) - you deserved it (58889)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32082) - you deserved it (12288)
On 02/20/2009 at 9:49pm - work - by ohh jeez. - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34387) - you deserved it (3731)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:13pm - misc - by niabby - United States (Illinois)
Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said "See you in a decade." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34177) - you deserved it (5340)
On 02/16/2009 at 10:05am - misc - by mags (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32259) - you deserved it (10714)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Yudansha (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32259) - you deserved it (10714)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Yudansha (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40643) - you deserved it (6417)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48525) - you deserved it (4826)
On 02/11/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by sissica (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
I agree, your life sucks (69263) - you deserved it (20134)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7477) - you deserved it (28306)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15966) - you deserved it (26232)
On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was masturbating to a girl with huge tits on the internet. I then scrolled down and found out she had a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6971) - you deserved it (40714)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:17pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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