super3286

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super3286

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4407
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

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super3286's page activity

Visits<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:25am<b>missadell</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 10:47pm<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 12:04pm<b>Awesomeify</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 4:00pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:55pm<b>krazy789</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 2:22pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:56pm<b>KayDee29</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:55pm<b>Zurg_676</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:09am<b>hallieee</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:08pm<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:10pm<b>seetei</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Angel1999</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:26pm<b>RuBloKon</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:52pm<b>okibi1</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 8:12pm<b>grtfuldeadlovr</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:17pm<b>YouHaveANiceButt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:59pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:33pm

Fucked!<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:55am

super3286's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of super3286's badges

super3286's favorite FMLs

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

by schoolgrlstaci / 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

by funnyguyNOT / 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

by warp_routine / 03/31/2009 at 10:17am / United States (Vermont) / Health

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

by superstar / 03/30/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, I got an email from a professor saying he was going to fail me for missing the alloted absences, which is school policy. I pointed out I was in the hospital for two weeks with a life threatening illness and that he even came to visit me. He told me "rules are rules." FML

by hospitalflunky / 03/28/2009 at 2:35am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 1:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML

by tinytitty / 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my parents and I were looking through old photos. My dad comments, "Wow you were chubby back then. But that's ok, it was baby fat." Then he turns to me and asks, "What's your excuse now?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home at 1am this morning from a friend's birthday party. I'm 30 years old. FML

by soliveyerlife / 03/21/2009 at 5:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street and noticed a man in ripped clothes with a cup out asking for money. I was on my way to the movies but I felt like this man needed it more that me. Right as I gave it to him, he pulled out his blackberry. FML

by california / 03/14/2009 at 4:55pm / United States (South Carolina) / Money

Today, I was late to school for the third time this week because my alarm clock didn't go off. I clearly remembered setting it, so I videotaped myself sleeping. It turns out I've been turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. FML

by EFFED4LIFE / 03/11/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML

by McChunky =( / 03/09/2009 at 4:25am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous