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Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55094) - you deserved it (2663)
On 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44072) - you deserved it (14015)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75279) - you deserved it (35504)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was in my Cosmetic Application class, and we were about to apply foundation to our models. I walk over to my friend and say "Wow, that foundation is really orange and blotchy." Then the model turns to me and says "Actually, we haven't started yet... that's just my skin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10180) - you deserved it (40154)
On 05/19/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97025) - you deserved it (8079)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (45362)
On 05/12/2009 at 7:09am - misc - by Rech (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to get the Apple store, my Mac had been making a grinding noise from the fan. The guy put his ear to the keyboard and said there was a CD in the drive so I couldn't hear the grinding from the fan. He ejected the CD. It was porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10954) - you deserved it (73418)
On 04/30/2009 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by cait (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18472) - you deserved it (45648)
On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38630) - you deserved it (15556)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (107412) - you deserved it (10687)
On 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm - health - by Litterbox (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was struggling through an exam and the hot girl next to me seemed to be flying through the questions. So I cheated off her. When we finished I asked her to lunch. She said "No, I just rushed through the exam so I can go fuck my boyfriend." I got shutdown and probably failed an exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7505) - you deserved it (73591)
On 04/15/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by ananomoose - United States (Vermont)
Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92907) - you deserved it (13508)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States
Today , I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money saying its collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then uses his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and wins 500 dollars. The jackass wouldnt split it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92907) - you deserved it (13508)
On 04/13/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by AJShow80 - United States
Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (129568) - you deserved it (5332)
On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (48373)
On 04/08/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by nothing (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Friday 24 May 2013
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