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super3286

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super3286
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1698
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 25 posted

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super3286's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

#7501218
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34106) - you deserved it (2645)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Funnymann - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

#7380749
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55902) - you deserved it (6391)

On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9285) - you deserved it (35798)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

#7215986
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24829) - you deserved it (2982)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

#7124750
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6803) - you deserved it (15751)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:40am - intimacy - by grounded (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML

#7113361
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (2522)

On 01/02/2010 at 10:22pm - kids - by arachnidphobia (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

#7079923
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29164) - you deserved it (3172)

On 01/01/2010 at 10:41am - kids - by silverstar189 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent christmas eve googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20498) - you deserved it (2710)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

#6842155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41583) - you deserved it (3791)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13864) - you deserved it (20938)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (32214)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

#6676147
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39178) - you deserved it (2368)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an elderly man come to my cash register. His total came to $15.50 He handed me $5 in nickels and dimes. A full roll of quarters. Before I could take the roll, he bust it open, making me count it. After that was all counted he was 50 cents short. So he handed me a $10 bill. FML

#6594787
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (2273)

On 12/04/2009 at 1:27am - work - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42294) - you deserved it (2693)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at a dinner with my dad's girlfriend's family. I met this guy who I found kind of cute and tried to talk to him a couple times. To avoid talking to me he started playing his PSP. I could see the screen perfectly and the PSP was clearly off. FML

#6477296
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25986) - you deserved it (5154)

On 11/27/2009 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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