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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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sumx07

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sumx07
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 406
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sumx07 : fun, outgoing, etc.

Loves volleyball, basketball, softball :)
&
Tanning!!

sumx07's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sumx07's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat was hit by a car. I took it to the vet expecting the worst but they told me that she’d be fine. I was so happy I didn't even mind paying the $50 bill. The next morning my cat was dead. Having her put down humanely would have cost $45, I paid $5 extra to have her die in my kitchen. FML

#2137962 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (44737) - you deserved it (2507)

On 05/21/2009 at 4:06am - animals - by georgia819 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was surprised to learn that I could carry on intelligent conversations about basketball with my guy friends. Then I realized it was because my boyfriend insists on watching ESPN while we have sex. FML

#2133178 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (47741) - you deserved it (5984)

On 05/21/2009 at 12:04am - intimacy - by S (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

#2123826 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (13415) - you deserved it (43553)

On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend and sent her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML

#2114921 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (40486) - you deserved it (2513)

On 05/20/2009 at 4:01pm - love - by edible (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML

#2111362 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (8484) - you deserved it (50069)

On 05/20/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by fihifgni210 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981 (285)

I agree, your life sucks (13810) - you deserved it (66753)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

#2093858 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (22243) - you deserved it (72251)

On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (716)

I agree, your life sucks (122003) - you deserved it (29424)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (23195) - you deserved it (65468)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

#1980136 (408)

I agree, your life sucks (48747) - you deserved it (38221)

On 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by madzlovesgee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while checking through the graphic novel section of my library, I noticed a gay manga porn comic. While I was wondering who in the world would ever RENT such an item, I realised I had been staring at it for a full five minutes and people were watching me. FML

#1958510 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (12352) - you deserved it (43363)

On 05/15/2009 at 7:07am - intimacy - by dwek (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML

#1933237 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (66725) - you deserved it (2408)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by MacBook (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

#1834550 (656)

I agree, your life sucks (79285) - you deserved it (6356)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (60371)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

#1751359 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (61709) - you deserved it (32814)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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