Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 04/22/2015 at 10:19pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8458
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)

I love meeting new people so shoot me a message! :D

sumbum95's page activity

Visits<b>142asdfqq</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 8:40am<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 4:09pm<b>mclovinlols</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:21pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 6:33am<b>talas122104</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 2:45am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 6:30am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Smoogy</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 4:52pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:10pm<b>unknown312</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 11:00am<b>rabbiddog</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 2:00pm<b>Mendez07</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:18am<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:19pm<b>nickstaab50</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:16am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 8:21pm<b>NRKY</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:06pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:20am<b>NomeDMF</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 1:02am

Fucked!<b>142asdfqq</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Mendez07</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 7:18am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:21am<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:48am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:57am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:17pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:27am

sumbum95's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sumbum95's badges

sumbum95's favorite FMLs

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (22212) - you deserved it (4320)

On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria

Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34699) - you deserved it (1908)

On 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Schubey (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said it was because my mom's lazy eye creeps him out, and that my dad hates him. She doesn't have a lazy eye, he's never met my dad, never seen my mom, and now according to his friends, he's been cheating on me for the past two weeks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31687) - you deserved it (2383)

On 05/19/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (391792) - you deserved it (20610)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (292896) - you deserved it (19736)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML


I agree, your life sucks (515469) - you deserved it (33030)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (758619) - you deserved it (62264)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (229642) - you deserved it (30248)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML


I agree, your life sucks (1231452) - you deserved it (136512)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML


I agree, your life sucks (308905) - you deserved it (56174)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: