sumbum95

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Offline (the 04/22/2015 at 10:19pm)

sumbum95

9Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9489
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)

I love meeting new people so shoot me a message! :D

sumbum95's page activity

Visits<b>Zatalmas</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 12:22pm<b>jowshow</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 11:18pm<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 1:45pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:51pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:35pm<b>grigri75</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:08am<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:46am<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 6:19pm<b>142asdfqq</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 8:40am<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 4:09pm<b>mclovinlols</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 11:21pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 6:33am<b>talas122104</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 2:45am<b>Ethan_Anonymous</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 6:30am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Smoogy</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 4:52pm

Fucked!<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:46pm<b>142asdfqq</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Mendez07</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 7:18am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:21am<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:48am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:57am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:17pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:27am

sumbum95's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sumbum95's badges

sumbum95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

by mystery / 06/16/2012 at 10:08pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML

by Schaf_12 / 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm / Austria (Wien) / Love

Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML

by Schaf_12 / 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm / Austria (Wien) / Love

Today, my sister called me and asked if my boyfriend of 3 years had proposed to me yet. And now the surprise is ruined. FML

by anonymous / 06/16/2012 at 9:57am / United States / Love

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML

by ultraattitude / 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm / United States / Health

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

by ouch / 06/14/2012 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

by biggieT / 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm / Sri Lanka (Western) / Intimacy

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

by ouch / 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

by eww / 06/13/2012 at 2:13am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 7:58am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy