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Offline (the 04/22/2015 at 10:19pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12859
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)

I love meeting new people so shoot me a message! :D

sumbum95's page activity

Visits<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:05am<b>billboob</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 4:37pm<b>hazardous17</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 1:43pm<b>dno79</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 11:11am<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 11:08pm<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 1:42am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:52pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 9:57pm<b>Zatalmas</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 12:22pm<b>jowshow</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 11:18pm<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 1:45pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:51pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:35pm<b>grigri75</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:08am<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:46am<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 6:19pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 8:52pm<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:46pm<b>142asdfqq</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Mendez07</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 7:18am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:21am<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:48am<b>blazerman</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:27am

sumbum95's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sumbum95's badges

sumbum95's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

by Coffee Boy / 06/23/2012 at 12:55am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

by GM38 / 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

by ExplosiveDildo / 06/22/2012 at 9:08am / Afghanistan / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

by me / 06/22/2012 at 3:28am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, while watching TV with my boyfriend, I was telling him that I wasn't looking forward to "getting older" and turning thirty in three days. Five minutes later, he said, "I never knew you had so much grey hair already" and then offered to help me dye them. FML

by Username / 06/22/2012 at 2:02am / United States / Love

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

by igiveup / 06/21/2012 at 2:19pm / United States / Love

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 10:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

by Bad Mommy / 06/21/2012 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

by daddy'sgirl / 06/21/2012 at 12:11am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I was sent a letter by the vet, saying my cat was late for her yearly checkup. My cat died last week and I'd had her cremated by the same people who had sent the letter. FML

by jnr1234 / 06/19/2012 at 10:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2012 at 4:59pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous