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About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)
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Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I livd in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out mah phone number, and mah address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
Today I made a pone call in ma office to ma doctor. He wantd to call a prescription to ma parmacy but wantd to know by wat metod I would prefer ma medication. During our conversation a group of potential clients walkd in just as I looool exclaimd "I definitely prefer oral." FML
Today, while watching TV with mah boyfriend, I was telling him that I wasn't looking forward to "getting older" an turning thirty in three days . Five minutes later, he said, "I never knew u had so much grey hair already" an then offered to help me dye them . FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home 4 dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, u must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friend think I'm a bastard. FML
Today.. . when I told family I was a vegetarian.. . I expectd them to make fun of me because that's just family . But what I wasn't expecting was dad to use looool raw meat as a puppet an make it say.. . "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at face . FML
Today, I was lecturing high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. mega FML
Today, after careful consideration, I told ma wife I really want to ave kids . Se lauged, until se finally realized I was serious, at wic point se flicked me in te balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
TODAY, I WAS SO OUT OF IT FROM A LACK OF SLEEP AND AN ACCIDENTAL ANTIISTAMINE OVERDOSE, I TRIED TO OFFER MA CAT A CUP OF TEA, AND ACTUALLY GOT PISSED OFF WEN E DIDN'T REPLY. IT TOOK ME A GOOD FIVE MINUTES TO UNDERSTAND WAT JUST APPENED.
TODAY, I REALIZED THAT THE ONLY TIMES I GET TO HANG OUT WITH MAH FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL ARE WHEN ONE OF THEM ACCIDENTALLY MENTIONS PLANS IN FRONT OF ME AND THEY ARE OBLIGATED BY SOCIAL PROTOCOL TO INVITE ME . FML
Friday 27 March 2015