Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sumbum95

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

sumbum95

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4501
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)

I love meeting new people so shoot me a message! :D

sumbum95's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:58pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:55pm<b>gonzo209</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:03pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:17am<b>okcnation</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 3:21am<b>vicious_fashion</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:28am<b>anthony89</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 11:10pm<b>Rinkster315</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:43pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:31pm<b>NotAgainShit</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:31pm<b>bigmanE</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:32pm<b>GrungeGeek17</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Ian_from_0070</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:47am<b>tinytitan98</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:52pm<b>weraru</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:50pm<b>XxCatalyst</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:14pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:52pm<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:59pm

Liked!<b>blazerman</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:27am

sumbum95's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sumbum95's badges

sumbum95's favorite FMLs

Today, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding. I was the first one to walk down the aisle, where I managed to trip over a wire, shutting off the music and falling on my face. My family cheered and took pictures. FML

#19899247
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (2922)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (9029)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

#19890528
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42238) - you deserved it (2777)

On 07/04/2012 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Two hours later I get a text from my ex announcing he has just been diagnosed with chlamydia. I now have to explain this to my fiancé. FML

#19890281
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15904) - you deserved it (29431)

On 07/04/2012 at 10:45am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

#19885470
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22943) - you deserved it (2390)

On 07/03/2012 at 11:08am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML

#19884925
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8079) - you deserved it (40398)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was getting ready to go to the midnight premiere of the new Spiderman movie, I was actually bitten by a spider. He gets super powers and a hot girl, I swell up like a balloon and get to spend the night in the hospital. FML

#19884595
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (2092)

On 07/03/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by spiderfail - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML

#19884123
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33685) - you deserved it (2262)

On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)

Today, I moved back home after unsuccessfully trying to find work in Florida, despite living there for nine months. About 45 minutes into my 18-hour drive home, a TV station called me to offer me a job interview. I applied for that job over three months ago. FML

#19883197
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21893) - you deserved it (2025)

On 07/02/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by deweyd8855 - United States

Today, while walking around my college campus, I passed by a dorm where a drunk guy was peeing out one of the top floor windows while his drunk friends cheered him on. That guy is my boyfriend. Lucky me. FML

#19883024
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19140) - you deserved it (6080)

On 07/02/2012 at 9:53pm - misc - by 21! (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad was helping my fiancé and me move. On the way, someone sideswiped the trailer. When the police came, we found my dad had a suspended license, no insurance, and a broken tail light. No one else could drive a manual, so we were stuck in a parking lot for 3 hours. Thanks, dad. FML

#19882895
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16819) - you deserved it (4973)

On 07/02/2012 at 9:20pm - misc - by thanksdad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad was helping my fiancé and me move. On the way, someone sideswiped the trailer. When the police came, we found my dad had a suspended license, no insurance, and a broken tail light. No one else could drive a manual, so we were stuck in a parking lot for 3 hours. Thanks, dad. FML

#19882895
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16819) - you deserved it (4973)

On 07/02/2012 at 9:20pm - misc - by thanksdad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

#19881978
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22071) - you deserved it (2476)

On 07/02/2012 at 5:17pm - kids - by Sh*t (woman) - Venezuela (Distrito Federal)

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

#19879302
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7047) - you deserved it (47488)

On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: