Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sumbum95

Offline (the 04/22/2015 at 10:19pm) | Search for a member

sumbum95

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7390
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)

I love meeting new people so shoot me a message! :D

sumbum95's page activity

Visits<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:19pm<b>nickstaab50</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:16am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 8:21pm<b>NRKY</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:06pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:20am<b>NomeDMF</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 1:02am<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:08pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:53pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:39pm<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:39am<b>sugoi72</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:28am<b>First_JOman</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:56am<b>Raxy</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:15am<b>eleanorrigby90</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:46am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Warnorse</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:09pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:57pm

Fucked!<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:21am<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:48am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:57am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:17pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:27am

sumbum95's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sumbum95's badges

sumbum95's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

#19921973
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22335) - you deserved it (8914)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, and got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

#19921886
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33720) - you deserved it (2347)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:09am - love - by forgottenbday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother was playing with the pepper spray on my key chain. He didn't think it was real, so to test it he sprayed me in the mouth while I was asleep. FML

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (3122)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (3122)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though; he's not a rapist. FML

#19918640
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34288) - you deserved it (2167)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML

#19918510
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26352) - you deserved it (7714)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:06pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML

#19918420
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23169) - you deserved it (8593)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by Username (man) - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18416) - you deserved it (36804)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14110) - you deserved it (26144)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML

#19915477
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6037) - you deserved it (55770)

On 07/09/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by jillie minaj (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML

#19915209
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9694) - you deserved it (28892)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by yeastly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

#19914869
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (1991)

On 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm - health - by deadman (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

#19913631
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7735) - you deserved it (32712)

On 07/09/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

#19913171
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29731) - you deserved it (2997)

On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: