Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sumbum95

Offline (the 04/22/2015 at 10:19pm) | Search for a member

sumbum95

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7449
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)

I love meeting new people so shoot me a message! :D

sumbum95's page activity

Visits<b>Mendez07</b> - 7 hours ago<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:19pm<b>nickstaab50</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:16am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 8:21pm<b>NRKY</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:06pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:20am<b>NomeDMF</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 1:02am<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:08pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:53pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:39pm<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:39am<b>sugoi72</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:28am<b>First_JOman</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:56am<b>Raxy</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:15am<b>eleanorrigby90</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:46am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Warnorse</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:09pm

Fucked!<b>Mendez07</b> - one hour ago<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:21am<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:48am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:57am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:17pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:27am

sumbum95's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sumbum95's badges

sumbum95's favorite FMLs

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27267) - you deserved it (2111)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27764) - you deserved it (12830)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

#19982867
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8833) - you deserved it (26017)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

#19982796
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26102) - you deserved it (3321)

On 07/25/2012 at 1:27am - misc - by strangebeans (woman) - United States

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML

#19982373
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (1875)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33593) - you deserved it (4705)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26252) - you deserved it (10912)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6796) - you deserved it (56164)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32785) - you deserved it (3281)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML

#19978761
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27423) - you deserved it (3669)

On 07/23/2012 at 12:31am - animals - by Lola -

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

#19978365
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33639) - you deserved it (2281)

On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML

#19977285
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9407) - you deserved it (62949)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by henley -



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: