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sumbum95

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sumbum95

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4448
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)

I love meeting new people so shoot me a message! :D

sumbum95's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:58pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:55pm<b>gonzo209</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 2:03pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:17am<b>okcnation</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 3:21am<b>vicious_fashion</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:28am<b>anthony89</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 11:10pm<b>Rinkster315</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 11:43pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:31pm<b>NotAgainShit</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:31pm<b>bigmanE</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:32pm<b>GrungeGeek17</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Ian_from_0070</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 9:47am<b>tinytitan98</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:52pm<b>weraru</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:50pm<b>XxCatalyst</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:14pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:52pm<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:59pm

Liked!<b>blazerman</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:27am

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sumbum95's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28002) - you deserved it (5157)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

#19984594
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25594) - you deserved it (1981)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

#19984576
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25773) - you deserved it (3448)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Just Me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9403) - you deserved it (33391)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26979) - you deserved it (2086)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38270) - you deserved it (8185)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26094) - you deserved it (12385)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

#19982867
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8200) - you deserved it (24497)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

#19982796
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24127) - you deserved it (3131)

On 07/25/2012 at 1:27am - misc - by strangebeans (woman) - United States

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML

#19982373
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34371) - you deserved it (1864)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31431) - you deserved it (4459)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (10817)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)



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