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sumbum95

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sumbum95
  • Town/Country : SoCal, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2423
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)

I love meeting new people so shoot me a message! :D

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sumbum95's favorite FMLs

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

#19984576
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23759) - you deserved it (3217)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Just Me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8696) - you deserved it (31683)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24467) - you deserved it (1862)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35715) - you deserved it (7805)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24597) - you deserved it (11925)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

#19982867
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6891) - you deserved it (20852)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States

Today, my parents informed that the man I am going to marry made the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

#19982796
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20541) - you deserved it (2777)

On 07/25/2012 at 1:27am - misc - by strangebeans (woman) - United States

Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML

Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML

#19982373
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32054) - you deserved it (1713)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27046) - you deserved it (3914)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother bitched me out for not finishing my laundry. I'm a 37-year-old mother of three. She rents my basement suite. FML

Today, was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML

#19980298
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22853) - you deserved it (9932)

On 07/23/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5314) - you deserved it (49426)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

#19979186
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30875) - you deserved it (3106)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)



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