Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sumbum95

Offline (the 04/22/2015 at 10:19pm) | Search for a member

sumbum95

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7064
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)

I love meeting new people so shoot me a message! :D

sumbum95's page activity

Visits<b>NRKY</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:06pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:20am<b>NomeDMF</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 1:02am<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 4:08pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 2:53pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:39pm<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 1:39am<b>sugoi72</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:28am<b>First_JOman</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:56am<b>Raxy</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:15am<b>eleanorrigby90</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:46am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 1:39pm<b>Warnorse</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:09pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:57pm<b>kaycrazyy</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:30pm<b>pkts11</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:51am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:32am

Fucked!<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:48am<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:57am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 11:17pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:27am

sumbum95's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sumbum95's badges

sumbum95's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

#19990134
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34737) - you deserved it (4658)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML

#19990099
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9694) - you deserved it (24916)

On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after rolling my car on the highway, I witnessed several people stop and get out of their cars to take pictures. No one asked if I was okay, and I was the one who had to call 911 for myself. FML

#19988721
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30204) - you deserved it (2143)

On 07/28/2012 at 5:56am - health - by Insomniac (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

#19987975
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11581) - you deserved it (40061)

On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my fiancée's OCD hit a new low when she screamed at me for flicking the light-switch off "the wrong way". This led to her flicking it on and off about a dozen times, followed by a twenty-minute lecture on how to do it "properly". We're getting married next month. FML

#19987750
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (7968)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I had a doctor's appointment. I left with referrals to both a dermatologist and a mental health professional. FML

#19986925
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18003) - you deserved it (2338)

On 07/27/2012 at 5:24am - health - by lexithepirate - United States

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

#19986553
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5939) - you deserved it (37474)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

#19986553
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5939) - you deserved it (37474)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML

#19986265
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23383) - you deserved it (2025)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

#19986009
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (2114)

On 07/26/2012 at 8:46pm - misc - by Carrie G. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

#19985136
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5662) - you deserved it (39795)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:48am - health - by maddiebauer - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29840) - you deserved it (5376)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

#19984594
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25869) - you deserved it (2003)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Lilragu97 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I came out to my mom as a lesbian. She told me that it was impossible, because since she isn't one, she therefore couldn't have given birth to one. She still won't believe me. FML

#19984576
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (3586)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Just Me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10406) - you deserved it (35606)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: