sumbum95

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Offline (the 04/22/2015 at 10:19pm)

sumbum95

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13286
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)

I love meeting new people so shoot me a message! :D

sumbum95's page activity

Visits<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 7:01pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:05am<b>billboob</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 4:37pm<b>hazardous17</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 1:43pm<b>dno79</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 11:11am<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 11:08pm<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 1:42am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:52pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 9:57pm<b>Zatalmas</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 12:22pm<b>jowshow</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 11:18pm<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 1:45pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:51pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:35pm<b>grigri75</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:08am<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:46am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 8:52pm<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:46pm<b>142asdfqq</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Mendez07</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 7:18am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:21am<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:48am<b>blazerman</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:27am

sumbum95's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sumbum95's badges

sumbum95's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

by purged / 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

by what the fuck / 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Intimacy

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

by irishbubble / 06/04/2013 at 8:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

by H1dd3n / 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 4:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 3:51am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 7:12am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

by mustache girl / 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

by MsAnonymous17 / 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

by yesguysgetabusedtoo / 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

by paper towel virgin / 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous