sumbum95

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Offline (the 04/22/2015 at 10:19pm)

sumbum95

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13261
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)

I love meeting new people so shoot me a message! :D

sumbum95's page activity

Visits<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 7:01pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:05am<b>billboob</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 4:37pm<b>hazardous17</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 1:43pm<b>dno79</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 11:11am<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 11:08pm<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 1:42am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 2:52pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 9:57pm<b>Zatalmas</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 12:22pm<b>jowshow</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 11:18pm<b>Lonelychick1249</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 1:45pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:51pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 5:35pm<b>grigri75</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:08am<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:46am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 8:52pm<b>AZ_Hockey_Dude</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 4:46pm<b>142asdfqq</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Mendez07</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 7:18am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:21am<b>MrPancak3</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 7:39am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:48am<b>blazerman</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:27am

sumbum95's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sumbum95's badges

sumbum95's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

by mymomplucksbutthair / 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

by assholedad / 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 12:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

by Sydney1600 / 06/20/2013 at 7:28pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

by sicksicksick / 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

by instinct / 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

by notyourmom / 06/11/2013 at 8:00am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

by Upset / 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

by sadgirl / 06/10/2013 at 2:14pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous